words by nerissa

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Archive for the tag “change your attitude”

My greatest inspiration

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My two biggest inspirations.

Why do you do what you do?

Why do you work? Why do you exercise? Why do you run a taxi service to your kids in your spare time? Why do you go to church?

Why do you REALLY do these things?

Maybe you don’t know. Maybe you’ve never taken the time to think about it before. Maybe you think you know, but you really don’t. Maybe you don’t even care.

However, if you don’t know the real reason behind the choices you make every day, then what you are doing is not really a choice. It’s either a habit, something you feel you ‘have to’ or ‘should do’, or something you do because everyone else is doing it.

When you know your real reason — your ‘WHY’ for doing the things you do, then the actual performing of these tasks (no matter how unpleasant/boring/time-wasting they may be), has a little more meaning, and therefore a purpose. It becomes easier to ‘roll with life’, because you are no longer just going through the motions, wondering what it’s all for.

Instead, your life becomes more focused, more meaningful and a lot happier. Because all of a sudden, you’re not just ‘going to work to pay the bills’. Instead, you ‘re ‘working so you can take that overseas trip’, or you’re driving the kids around ‘so they have an opportunity to develop friendships’.

See the difference?

The same goes for taking care of your health. Many of us say we ‘need to lose weight’ or ‘want to get fit’. Why?

If you ‘need to lose weight’ because everyone else is on a diet, then that’s not a good reason. If you ‘want to get fit’ because Cross-fit is the new best thing, then that’s not a reason either. Even a doctor telling you that you need to do something about your health is not a reason, unless it is YOUR reason. You have to own your reason. You have to really understand WHY you do the things you do.

I have recently done this with regard to my health. What started out as ‘wanting to lose weight’ has evolved into something more meaningful. I no longer care about my ‘weight’, because I have learnt that weight is only a small measure of the kind of person I am. Sure, I want to be living in a body that can continue to move as I age. I want to feel healthy and vibrant and enjoy life as I get older. I do want to feel good and happy about who I am. And the vainer part of me wants to look good! But my real reason — my WHY for training and eating and changing my life for the better, is not about me anymore.

It’s about the dream I have for my kids.

I don’t want them to bury me before my time or to watch me die from a disease I can prevent. I don’t want them to spend their adulthood caring for me, because I haven’t taken good care of myself. I don’t want them to spend their time taking me to doctors, hospitals and medical appointments, or worrying about my health. I want to know my grandkids and have a quality relationship with them. I want to do things with my family, rather than just watch from the sidelines. I want our time together on this earth to be of the highest quality it can be, doing things that matter and things that make us happy. Making happy memories instead of sad ones.

I want my kids to be happy. I want them to know what makes them happy. I want them to be strong enough in themselves to be who THEY want to be, not what the world tells them they should be. I want them to follow their own dreams and passions, whatever they are, and regardless of what others may say about it.

I want my kids to love and value themselves, and to see value in everyone they meet. I want them to inspire and encourage others to be better people. I want them to bring joy to the lives of others, simply by being themselves. I want them to respect themselves and those around them.

I want them to develop a love for healthy food and exercise, so they can live healthy lives. I don’t want them fighting disease, illness or depression. Instead, I want them to make the most out of life.

don't tell people your dreamsI want my kids to be the best they can be and know it’s okay to aspire to greatness. I want them to be proud of who they are as people and what they contribute to the world. I want them to value their uniqueness and special gifts they have been blessed with, and to use those gifts to help others.

I want them to be resilient enough to rise above negativity and hate, and know that when they experience that, it is not a reflection of them, but rather the person who is being negative and hateful. I want them to be confident in who they are, and to never, ever let others’ negativity get the better of them, or cause them to think negatively of themselves.

I want them to seize opportunities when they come along, without worrying about whether they are ‘good enough’ to follow through. I want them to be confident in themselves and their abilities. I want them to trust themselves, and know that they will always find a solution to a problem.

I realise that is a pretty big dream I have for my kids. But I believe it is a worthy dream.

While it’s true that none of us can control how our kids’ lives turn out, we do have an opportunity to model to them what we value in life.

I’m not saying that I am all of the above — but I am working on being so.

The interesting thing about all of this is that since writing down WHY I am making positive changes in my life, I find myself reflecting on the above while I am doing other seemingly mundane and meaningless things such as cleaning the bathroom, doing the grocery shopping and taking out the rubbish.

Although I am not fully embracing the less appealing tasks involved in raising kids, every now and then I catch myself thinking “Why am I REALLY doing this?” And it causes me to turn my negative feelings about these jobs into more meaningful ones.

Why do you do what you do?

cropped-twitterpic.jpgNerissa Bentley is a Melbourne-based freelance writer at Write to the Point Communications. This blog is just one of the things she writes in her spare time.

She also specialises in writing for the health and well-being market. As well as writing thoroughly researched articles, she can provide assistance with press releases, copywriting, editing, proofreading and communication strategies.

So if you would like her to help you, contact her at writetothepoint@hotmail.com

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Tell me why….I don’t like Mondays

Monday. All you need is Monday

What’s your reaction to that word? It’s just another day of the week, isn’t it?

Apparently not.

Because most posts I see on Facebook on Mondays are negative ones. In fact, there are far more negative quotes about Mondays on the internet than positive ones.

So what’s going on?

Are our weekends that fabulous that we can’t face the thought of it all coming to an end on a Monday? Are our jobs that bad, that the thought of going back to them is almost unbearable? Or has it become the norm to whinge? Just because it’s Monday and everyone else is doing it?

So to find out the answers, I turned to science. Yes, there are scientific studies for this kind of stuff!

In 2005, a study carried out in Japan (which was later published in the American Journal of Hypertension), showed that many workers suffer a significant increase in blood pressure as they return to work after their weekend.

A few years prior to that, a study in Britain showed that there was a 20 per cent rise in the number of heart attacks at the beginning of the week. It was believed that work-related stress was to blame.

Recent studies in the UK have focused on which day of the week is more ‘dangerous’. And guess what? Monday is relatively low on the danger scale. It’s on Friday that you should be more careful!

More recent studies in the US have shown that there really is no difference in mood between Monday and any other day of the working week, except for Friday. Funnily enough, mood tends to rise on a Friday afternoon. So why does Monday get such bad press?

One researcher believes it’s because the contrast in mood from Sunday to Monday is the greatest, which leads to Monday being singled out.

And therein lies the key. The contrast in mood between your weekend and your working week.

Which leads me to this question — what is it about your working week that is so bad? Is there no purpose, no meaning, no joy in those five days? Are you only enjoying two days of the week?

Because that’s only about 104 days of happiness each year. And at last count, there is 365-366 days in a year. To make matters worse, I am sure that not every weekend of yours is bursting at the seams with happiness, joy and purpose. So how much of your life are you really enjoying?

Why are you wasting your time complaining about what day it is?

It’s really childish and self-indulgent.

There are many people in this world who would give anything for another year of Mondays. But unfortunately, their terminal disease means that’s not possible

There are plenty of people who have lost loved ones — who would probably live through a life-time of Mondays if it meant they could have that person back.

I realise that some people out there may be going through life-saving chemotherapy (or any other necessary medical treatment) on a Monday. In those cases, I totally understand why they may not enjoy Mondays. However, on the flip-side, they are probably the ones who can see the positive amongst the negative.

Wake up and realise what you’ve got.

You need to realise how lucky you are compared to so many other people. Mondays come around every seven days. So grow up, get over yourself and change your attitude. You’re not the only one who has to live through a Monday (or a working week for that matter).

There. I said it. End of rant.

Now for some more positive thoughts about Mondays.

  • Without them (and the rest of the working week), you’d be broke, have nowhere to live, and would probably be terribly bored.
  • Mondays can be a time when you recommit to a healthier lifestyle. The working week can be when you focus on eating well and exercising, so you can let go a little on the weekends, without compromising your overall health.
  • Routine is good. Without it, we probably wouldn’t get much done.
  • Mondays can represent a brand new slate. New beginnings, new goals, new focus.

However, if the above is still too hard to get your head around, then try incorporating some of your weekends into your working week.

Why save going to the movies for a Saturday night? Go mid-week instead.

Cook French toast on a Tuesday, rather than saving it for Sunday.

Go for a walk on a Monday instead of the usual Saturday.

Hit the shops on Thursday night, instead of waiting for the weekend.

You need to find the miraculous, the pleasurable, the inspirational throughout your whole week. Not just on the weekends.

Life really has so much to offer. However, if you spend five out of seven days with your head in your hands bemoaning the fact that it’s not the weekend, then you are missing out. Big Time.

What will you say on your deathbed?

“Man, I hated Mondays”?
OR
“Gee, I wish I had enjoyed more of my life”?

Are Mondays really that bad?

References:

http://edition.cnn.com/2005/BUSINESS/02/03/monday.pressure/

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/health-19316104

http://www.guardian.co.uk/lifeandstyle/2013/may/29/most-dangerous-day-of-week

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words by nerissa

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