words by nerissa

…observations, thoughts and questions

Archive for the tag “gifts and abilities”

My greatest inspiration

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My two biggest inspirations.

Why do you do what you do?

Why do you work? Why do you exercise? Why do you run a taxi service to your kids in your spare time? Why do you go to church?

Why do you REALLY do these things?

Maybe you don’t know. Maybe you’ve never taken the time to think about it before. Maybe you think you know, but you really don’t. Maybe you don’t even care.

However, if you don’t know the real reason behind the choices you make every day, then what you are doing is not really a choice. It’s either a habit, something you feel you ‘have to’ or ‘should do’, or something you do because everyone else is doing it.

When you know your real reason — your ‘WHY’ for doing the things you do, then the actual performing of these tasks (no matter how unpleasant/boring/time-wasting they may be), has a little more meaning, and therefore a purpose. It becomes easier to ‘roll with life’, because you are no longer just going through the motions, wondering what it’s all for.

Instead, your life becomes more focused, more meaningful and a lot happier. Because all of a sudden, you’re not just ‘going to work to pay the bills’. Instead, you ‘re ‘working so you can take that overseas trip’, or you’re driving the kids around ‘so they have an opportunity to develop friendships’.

See the difference?

The same goes for taking care of your health. Many of us say we ‘need to lose weight’ or ‘want to get fit’. Why?

If you ‘need to lose weight’ because everyone else is on a diet, then that’s not a good reason. If you ‘want to get fit’ because Cross-fit is the new best thing, then that’s not a reason either. Even a doctor telling you that you need to do something about your health is not a reason, unless it is YOUR reason. You have to own your reason. You have to really understand WHY you do the things you do.

I have recently done this with regard to my health. What started out as ‘wanting to lose weight’ has evolved into something more meaningful. I no longer care about my ‘weight’, because I have learnt that weight is only a small measure of the kind of person I am. Sure, I want to be living in a body that can continue to move as I age. I want to feel healthy and vibrant and enjoy life as I get older. I do want to feel good and happy about who I am. And the vainer part of me wants to look good! But my real reason — my WHY for training and eating and changing my life for the better, is not about me anymore.

It’s about the dream I have for my kids.

I don’t want them to bury me before my time or to watch me die from a disease I can prevent. I don’t want them to spend their adulthood caring for me, because I haven’t taken good care of myself. I don’t want them to spend their time taking me to doctors, hospitals and medical appointments, or worrying about my health. I want to know my grandkids and have a quality relationship with them. I want to do things with my family, rather than just watch from the sidelines. I want our time together on this earth to be of the highest quality it can be, doing things that matter and things that make us happy. Making happy memories instead of sad ones.

I want my kids to be happy. I want them to know what makes them happy. I want them to be strong enough in themselves to be who THEY want to be, not what the world tells them they should be. I want them to follow their own dreams and passions, whatever they are, and regardless of what others may say about it.

I want my kids to love and value themselves, and to see value in everyone they meet. I want them to inspire and encourage others to be better people. I want them to bring joy to the lives of others, simply by being themselves. I want them to respect themselves and those around them.

I want them to develop a love for healthy food and exercise, so they can live healthy lives. I don’t want them fighting disease, illness or depression. Instead, I want them to make the most out of life.

don't tell people your dreamsI want my kids to be the best they can be and know it’s okay to aspire to greatness. I want them to be proud of who they are as people and what they contribute to the world. I want them to value their uniqueness and special gifts they have been blessed with, and to use those gifts to help others.

I want them to be resilient enough to rise above negativity and hate, and know that when they experience that, it is not a reflection of them, but rather the person who is being negative and hateful. I want them to be confident in who they are, and to never, ever let others’ negativity get the better of them, or cause them to think negatively of themselves.

I want them to seize opportunities when they come along, without worrying about whether they are ‘good enough’ to follow through. I want them to be confident in themselves and their abilities. I want them to trust themselves, and know that they will always find a solution to a problem.

I realise that is a pretty big dream I have for my kids. But I believe it is a worthy dream.

While it’s true that none of us can control how our kids’ lives turn out, we do have an opportunity to model to them what we value in life.

I’m not saying that I am all of the above — but I am working on being so.

The interesting thing about all of this is that since writing down WHY I am making positive changes in my life, I find myself reflecting on the above while I am doing other seemingly mundane and meaningless things such as cleaning the bathroom, doing the grocery shopping and taking out the rubbish.

Although I am not fully embracing the less appealing tasks involved in raising kids, every now and then I catch myself thinking “Why am I REALLY doing this?” And it causes me to turn my negative feelings about these jobs into more meaningful ones.

Why do you do what you do?

cropped-twitterpic.jpgNerissa Bentley is a Melbourne-based freelance writer at Write to the Point Communications. This blog is just one of the things she writes in her spare time.

She also specialises in writing for the health and well-being market. As well as writing thoroughly researched articles, she can provide assistance with press releases, copywriting, editing, proofreading and communication strategies.

So if you would like her to help you, contact her at writetothepoint@hotmail.com

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Who are you?

On the surface, it seems like a straightforward question. I mean, we all know who we are, don’t we? Or do you think you know who you should be?

Because to me, there is a difference.

Many people don’t like who they are. They don’t think they are good enough. They don’t feel they deserve success. They don’t believe that they are capable of achieving or being more than what they are. They put down any success they have as ‘luck’. Furthermore, they are often jealous of other people’s successes, without even thinking about the sacrifices required for that success. They compare their ‘inner stories’ with the perception they have of someone else’s life. They are simply not happy people.

It’s so very sad.

But why is it like this for so many?

Perhaps they had abusive parents who only put them down. Maybe they have a physical disability that limits them in some way. Perhaps they were bullied as a child. Maybe they tried to do something once but failed, and then were taunted because of their failure.

Or maybe nothing has happened. Perhaps they have just been bombarded with unrealistic images in the media telling them how they should look or dress; where they should work; how they should interact with their family; how they should spend their spare time; how they should spend their money; what their house should be like; or how happy they should be all the time (cue ad of well-dressed housewife smiling as she goes about cleaning an already spotless house).

No matter what your circumstance, there is one universal truth — we are all good at something. Actually, we are all good at many things.

While we can’t be the best at everything, we are all born with different gifts (or abilities if you prefer). Some people are great at listening. Others are natural athletes. Some are brilliant cooks. Some people’s minds (not mine!) are wired for complex numbers. Other people are creative. And on and on the list goes.

What is it for you? What are you good at?

It’s probably the things you do without effort, things you like doing, or things that, (heaven forbid), people actually compliment you on!

When you find something that you are good at, notice it, nurture it, and keep looking until you find another. Because the more good things you see in yourself, the more you will be able to find. And the more good things you find, the more you find yourself. Your true authentic self.

Sure, you have weaknesses. We all do. But don’t let them be the focus of your life. Don’t let the negative things define who you truly are.

Stop comparing yourself with others. Stop focussing on what you can’t do, or wishing you could do what someone else does. Because when you do that, you start to paint a picture of who you think you should be. And that leads to unhappiness.

Dare to be YOU. The very best version of yourself.

To quote a wise man:youer than you

“Today you are You,
that is truer than true.
There is no one alive
who is Youer than You.”

By Dr Seuss.

Are you brave enough to let others see who you really are?

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words by nerissa

...observations, thoughts and questions