words by nerissa

…observations, thoughts and questions

Archive for the tag “tears”

Head in the sand? Absolutely!

I’m usually not one for avoiding the facts. Sometimes I might put off unpleasant tasks (just take a look at my ironing basket), but most of the time, my attitude is ‘if it needs to be done, just get on and do it’.

However, there is something I have been putting off, and putting off. I’ve been burying my head in the sand and living in denial. I’ve been pushing the thought of it out of my mind over and over again. For now, it is working. But I know that one day all too soon, I won’t be able to deny it anymore.

You see, my oldest is about to finish primary school.

What a difference 6 years makes

What a difference 6 years makes

I know that some of you reading this have been through this in the past couple of years — and you can empathise with me. Thank you.

I know that some of you have children who haven’t even started school yet, so cannot possibly comprehend them being old enough to head off to high school. But think for a moment of your little one starting primary school. It’s a little like that — only worse.

And then there are some of you who are wondering why is it such a big deal.

I too am wondering the same. After all, my son is ready to go off to high school. He is looking forward to new things, making new friends and beginning a new chapter in his life.

So if he is happy, why aren’t I?

Well, I am happy — sort of. I’m happy that he is ready to go, I’m happy that he wants to go. I’m happy that he has the confidence and sense of adventure that enables him to look forward to high school rather than be afraid of it. But that’s where it ends.

Truth be told, I’m not really ready for my boy to grow up.

I’ll be honest and say that I didn’t enjoy absolutely EVERY single primary school activity. I mean, standing out in the driving rain, watching district cross-country is not much fun. Nor is being squashed in a gym for over an hour in 40+ degree heat watching over 100 kids receive basketball medals.

But overall, primary school has been a wonderful experience for both of us.

Events and activities such as the Prep Alphabet Concert, the Grade 1 Fairy Tale Ball, right through to the annual Christmas Concert, provided us with many laughs and fond memories (despite the headaches involved in sorting out costumes!).

Then there was the seemingly endless array of sporting activities — School cross country, District cross country, School athletics, District athletics, District tennis, Inter-school sport, After-school basketball, swimming, skip-a-thons, fun runs, etc. At the time, it seemed a big chunk out of my week to attend all these things. But really, they have come and gone in a blink of an eye and the only reminder is a bunch of ribbons and medals, and some photographs that showed just how little my boy was when he started school.

If the first year of primary school is a series of ‘firsts’, then the last year is a series of ‘lasts’. The last cross country, the last athletics day, the last school production, the last season of basketball.

I’m trying very hard not to think about these events as ‘the last’. For the most part I am succeeding. However, I know that when the school production is done and the last goal has been scored in basketball, a part of me will wish we could do it over again. I am sure there will be a tear in my eye.

As I sit here and write this, we have just under 18 weeks of school left for the year.

head in the sand18 weeks to enjoy.

18 weeks to savour.

18 weeks to pull my head out of the sand … somehow.

In the meantime, perhaps I’ll go and tackle my ironing basket.

 

cropped-twitterpic.jpgNerissa Bentley is a Melbourne-based freelance writer at Write to the Point Communications. This blog is just one of the things she writes in her spare time.

 She also specialises in writing for the health and well-being market. As well as writing thoroughly researched articles, she can provide assistance with press releases, copywriting, editing, proofreading and communication strategies.

So if you would like her to help you, contact her at writetothepoint@hotmail.com

 

 

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“I only belong in your heart”

Laura at 6 (with no front teeth)

One of my favourite pics of me and my precious girl on a Prep Excursion to the Zoo. I love it because her smile is so big (and gappy!).

I looked at my daughter’s face as tears welled up in her eyes. I asked her what was wrong.

“I don’t want to go to school because I don’t feel like I belong there anymore,” she cried as tears rolled down her face.

“Of course you belong,” I said. “You’re an important member of your class and the whole school.”

“No, I only belong in your heart.”

Then she sobbed.

My beautiful 8 year old daughter, then told me that a group of girls at her school wouldn’t let her play with them. According to her, they were being rude and telling lies about her. And so, she felt like she didn’t belong there anymore.

After we had talked a few things through, I asked her what she meant when she told me she belonged in my heart.

She replied: “Because we are connected, heart to heart.”

Now to explain to you what that means, I have to take you into a world of Barbie movies. I know, I know — Barbie movies are not award-winning material. But my daughter loves them and one particular movie is very dear to her heart — and mine.

It’s called “Barbie and the Diamond Castle”. Basically, it’s a story of two best friends who grow flowers for a living. They both love music. One day they find two heart-shaped stones which they turn into necklaces to symbolise their friendship. One of the songs they sing during the movie is about their friendship and the chorus goes like this:

I feel connected (connected), protected (protected), it’s like you’re standing right with me all the time.
You hear me (you hear me), you’re near me (you’re near me),
and everything else is gonna be alright.
‘Cause nothing can break this, nothing can break this, nothing can break this tie.
Connected…

This song is one of ‘our songs’, and my daughter still loves to sing it to me, in full.

The reason this song is so special for my daughter and I is we first saw this movie when she started school. That was a very emotionally draining year for the whole family, as my daughter cried every day for three months. Every day. Some days the teacher had to prise her from me, which was not pleasant for any of us.

But through it all, we used to remind each other that we were connected like the two girls in the Barbie movie — even when we were apart. We even bought one of those ‘best-friend’ necklaces in the shape of a heart that you split in two and give to your best friend. She would go to school wearing her half under her uniform and I would wear my half for the day. It was our way of ‘being connected, heart to heart’.

Three years later, she was standing before me, with tears rolling down her face, telling me she belonged in my heart because we were connected.

She knew that no matter what happened at school, or anywhere else, that she would always have a place in my heart.

I wasn’t happy to hear that she was feeling so upset. But I was happy to know that she feels like she ‘belongs in my heart’, regardless of whatever else is taking place around her.

Happily, that day in the playground was a ‘one-off’ and she is back to playing with her friends and going to school with a smile on her face.

But it was a valuable experience for her, to not just ‘know’ that she was important to us at home, but to really feel and believe that she can always count on us to make her feel special, loved and cherished.

Forever connected, heart to heart.

My daughter found this rock a few months ago. When she picked it up, it broke in her hands into two pieces. She gave one half to me and kept one half for her to remind me that we 'are connected'.

My daughter found this rock a few months ago. When she picked it up, it broke in her hands into two pieces. She gave one half to me and kept one half for her to remind me that we ‘are connected’.

Side note: For those of you interested in the rest of the Barbie movie plot, the two girls stumble across a girl called Melody who is trapped in a mirror. She tells them a story about how she lived with three muses in the Diamond Castle until one day, one of the muses turned evil because she wanted the music to herself. The other two muses hid the Diamond Castle before they were turned into stone. So of course the two girls head off to stop the evil muse, before she finds the Diamond Castle and destroys music (and the world). And of course, everything works out in the end.

cropped-twitterpic.jpgNerissa Bentley is a Melbourne-based freelance writer at Write to the Point Communications. This blog is just one of the things she writes in her spare time.

She also specialises in writing for the health and well-being market. As well as writing thoroughly researched articles, she can provide assistance with press releases, copywriting, editing, proofreading and communication strategies.

So if you would like her to help you, contact her at writetothepoint@hotmail.com

 

Joy to the world?

It’s that time of the year again. And depending upon who you are and what you have on your plate, you may use any number of terms (some of them none too complementary), to describe the week leading up to Christmas.joy

The picture on the right seems to sum it up beautifully.

Christmas is supposed to be a season of joy and happiness, celebrations and festivities. There is an enormous amount of pressure to appear happy, relaxed and joyful. But in reality, most of us are running on empty, and scrambling to keep on top of it all.

A bit like a duck on water, really. On the surface, everything is gliding along smoothly, but behind closed doors, in the crowded shopping centres, or in the car as we ferry people from one event to another, the mad paddling to stay afloat is happening.

What food do we need to take to this event? What time are the kids likely to get into bed tonight? How will I get them up tomorrow? What is on tomorrow? What day is it today? How will I find time to get groceries? What are we having for brunch with our friends? When will I buy food for Christmas Day? What are we eating on Christmas Day? How much is on the credit card this month? What time do we have to leave? Have the kids got clothes to wear to school tomorrow? Did I really promise to take the kids to the city to look at Christmassy things? Can I get out of it? WHERE THE HELL ARE ALL THE CAR PARKS?

These are just a few of the things that have been going through my mind lately.

It’s a bit like having an internet browser with 86 tabs open — ALL THE TIME!

It’s exhausting.

And I know I’m not the only one feeling like this.

In a season when wine flows freely, it seems tears are flowing just as freely.

Tears of frustration, tears of tiredness, tears of worrying about the financial pressures, tears as children leave pre-school, primary school or high school, and farewell their friends. Tears from parents and teachers. Tears from students who didn’t get the result they need to get into the tertiary course they wanted. Tears from children, totally overwhelmed and exhausted by it all. Tears from people who are missing loved ones — either separated by distance or death.

There is no doubt that there is an immense amount of pressure put on most of us this time of year, and what is supposed to be the Season of Joy is totally the opposite.

Sure, I could tell you to count your blessings and be grateful of how good your life really is, but I know you probably don’t have time to down a mince pie, let alone make a list of all the ‘positives’. And even if you did, I think indulging in a glass of bubbly and that mince pie you can’t seem to find time for, is a little more appealing at this time of year.

So, if you would rather poke yourself in the eye with candy cane, than attend one more crazy, frenzied event, the good news is we are almost there. And the serious business of relaxing can begin.

But in the meantime, I would like to leave you with the following video.

Over the past week or so, it has become my new favourite song. In a time when we are busy hurtling through time and space, getting ever so closer to the pinnacle of bedlam, this song provides four minutes of escape. It leaves me feeling less-stressed and feeling warm and fuzzy. It makes my kids smile. It gets us dancing around the house feeling happy. Even if it is only for four minutes.

I hope it does the same for you.

Wishing you PEACE and HAPPINESS this Christmas

xx

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